May I vent?

Talk about what ails ya! If you can fit it all into one post!

Moderators: GlamDude, jim_test, The Ghost of Case

User avatar
grimalkin
Ethereal Buddha Cat
Ethereal Buddha Cat
Posts: 21395
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:40 am
Location: Looking into the mists of time
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby grimalkin » Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:45 am

I'm so sorry. A lot of the time people go to the "It's all in your head" thing because they feel helpless. It lets them believe that terrible stuff is actually under someone's control, not just random and inexplicable. It doesn't make it any less awful.

Blessings to you and Paul. Tipper and I think about both of you often.
"You're as likely to contact the Universal Mind with a spell from a book as you are to reach the White House dialing random numbers into a phone."

shaza
Lap Warmer
Lap Warmer
Posts: 264
Joined: Sun Jan 20, 2013 1:45 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby shaza » Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:44 am

grimalkin wrote:I'm so sorry. A lot of the time people go to the "It's all in your head" thing because they feel helpless. It lets them believe that terrible stuff is actually under someone's control, not just random and inexplicable. It doesn't make it any less awful.


I agree with grim. Also I find some people are just so thick skinned (or thick) or have never had any such adversities themselves they literally can't conceive of why you can't just "snap out of it" - I've had people say to me, when I was in a depressive state, "just think of all the good things in your life" - well of course that's the answer then isn't it? STOP PRESSES!!! I'll just tell my GP, therapist, and the pharmaceutical companies we've found the cure, so they are no longer required. :grump2:

User avatar
Ireneb
Catbox Archaeologist
Catbox Archaeologist
Posts: 2515
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 4:47 pm
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby Ireneb » Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:37 am

shaza wrote:
grimalkin wrote:I'm so sorry. A lot of the time people go to the "It's all in your head" thing because they feel helpless. It lets them believe that terrible stuff is actually under someone's control, not just random and inexplicable. It doesn't make it any less awful.


I agree with grim. Also I find some people are just so thick skinned (or thick) or have never had any such adversities themselves they literally can't conceive of why you can't just "snap out of it" - I've had people say to me, when I was in a depressive state, "just think of all the good things in your life" - well of course that's the answer then isn't it? STOP PRESSES!!! I'll just tell my GP, therapist, and the pharmaceutical companies we've found the cure, so they are no longer required. :grump2:

Yes, that is so ridiculous. As is "if you had enough to do, you wouldn't have time to be depressed". A lot of people have no sense of walking in someone else's shoes.

How is life, MaoMao? Haven't heard much from you recently.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. -- Winston Churchill

User avatar
Mao Mao
Lap Warmer
Lap Warmer
Posts: 273
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:33 am
Location: Liverpool, UK
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby Mao Mao » Fri Aug 30, 2013 6:11 am

I've just come back from a short, three night hotel break with Gabi in Yorkshire.

We had to drop Paul off at his parents, and I think that they may now have a better idea of exactly how ill he is. He fell several times, needed help washing etc, and THEY had to deal with it.

Gabi and I had a relaxing time away. It's sad to say, but sometimes Paul gets me down. Because he is just sitting there at home all the time, he always has a list of householdy stuff for me to do. The latest is planning an overhaul of the kitchen, the bathroom and God knows what else. I know he gets bored and frustrated but...well anyway, that's why Gabi and I needed a break. He gets grumpy with her too.

Mum had a great time, what with having the house to herself ;)
'Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light' - Spike Milligan

You'll Never Walk Alone

User avatar
Ireneb
Catbox Archaeologist
Catbox Archaeologist
Posts: 2515
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 4:47 pm
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby Ireneb » Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:32 am

Mao Mao wrote:I've just come back from a short, three night hotel break with Gabi in Yorkshire.

We had to drop Paul off at his parents, and I think that they may now have a better idea of exactly how ill he is. He fell several times, needed help washing etc, and THEY had to deal with it.

Gabi and I had a relaxing time away. It's sad to say, but sometimes Paul gets me down. Because he is just sitting there at home all the time, he always has a list of householdy stuff for me to do. The latest is planning an overhaul of the kitchen, the bathroom and God knows what else. I know he gets bored and frustrated but...well anyway, that's why Gabi and I needed a break. He gets grumpy with her too.

Mum had a great time, what with having the house to herself ;)
Well done that girl, taking some time away. And hopefully your in-laws will have a better sense of what is involved.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. -- Winston Churchill

Dandelion
Three-legged Mutant Kitteh
Three-legged Mutant Kitteh
Posts: 141
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:30 pm
Location: Covered in cat hair
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby Dandelion » Mon Oct 21, 2013 12:19 pm

I think Grim hit the nail on the head. People seem to think that these things can be wished away, because then they won't have to deal with the illness, or the possibility that they, too, might suffer from the same thing. Of course, if an illness, depression, etc. is only due to the afflicted person "being too weak-willed to shake themselves off and buck up, why then, it can't possibly happen to Me, the Ignorant who knows all, right?"

I have to say, I've seen this quite a bit, where the family denies an ill person's reality. I've even seen it with non-invisible illnesses. I had a coworker who was visibly deformed by severe rheumatoid arthritis, and who'd had multiple surgeries for it. Her family, all of whom were highly educated, successful people in high powered jobs, acted like she was trying to spoil their holiday when she requested that they have their family Christmas in a tropical climate, as they had the year before, and not in a snowed-in cabin in the northernmost reaches of Maine, which is what they usually did, because the cold icy weather made her joints lock up, which was terribly painful. They complained that the lack of snow made it not feel like Christmas, and told her she should just stop complaining, as she was ruining their fun. These people had no excuse: they were intelligent and educated, and this girl's medical problem was not only well-documented, but obvious to anyone, medical or not, who looked at her arms and legs. It makes it no less hurtful, but at least you know that many people also struggle with this; insult to injury, that those who should be the most supportive are actually the least.

I'm glad that you and Gabs got a short holiday, and that P's folks maybe saw a bit up close of what they are denying. I'd guess it did you all some good. I am sorry that in the face of plenty of challenges, you also have to deal with such in-laws. I hope that coming here helps you feel supported!

User avatar
badplantmommy
Feral Fecal Freak
Feral Fecal Freak
Posts: 16891
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2012 1:28 pm
Location: Deep Space
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby badplantmommy » Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:57 am

Dandelion, your post just reminded me of another issue that I find aggravating: people's attitude towards obesity. While willpower and self-control play a part, the condition is often caused by an illness, or exacerbated by it. I might still be overweight if I didn't have an underactive thyroid, but I would likely only be needing to lose 20 pounds, not 50+. People are so quick to judge others, whether they're looking at someone with an autoimmune disorder, depression, or a weight problem. They are fond of calling us lazy. And it does NOT help at all when they do that. And I have this overwhelming urge to slap your friend's relatives! :wah: :mad:

--J--
Is that all there is?

shaza
Lap Warmer
Lap Warmer
Posts: 264
Joined: Sun Jan 20, 2013 1:45 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: May I vent?

Postby shaza » Tue Nov 26, 2013 11:00 am

badplantmommy wrote:And I have this overwhelming urge to slap your friend's relatives! :wah: :mad:

--J--


I'm sure we had a Trout of Enlightenment or was it a Skillet of Enlightenment? Can't remember :crazy:


Return to “Human Health & Fitness”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest