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The Jeez - pt. some.

Posted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:51 pm
by jim
In the fourth week, Jesus Christ, son of Jehovah, the messiah of the Jews, did come to the holy city of Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites.

And at the gates of the holy city of Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites, Jesus Christ, son of Jehovah, the messiah of the Jews, did find Peter, his apostle, weeping with his head to ground.

There at the gates did Jesus Christ, son of Jehovah, the messiah of the Jews, ask Peter, his apostle, why he was weeping with his head to the ground.

Raising his head, Peter, the apostle of Jesus Chris, the son of Jehovah, the messiah of the Jews, spake to his Lord, saying:

My Lord, the son of Jehovah, the messiah of the Jews, in the center of the holy city, Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites, upon a slab of stone lays the body of our brother Lazarus, who was slain by the hand of another man upon this day a week ago.

Jesus, the son of Jehovah, the messiah of the Jews, looked upon Peter, his apostle, and asked him to take him to the body of Lazarus, who lay upon a slab of stone in the center of the holy city of Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites, who was slain by the hand of another man upon this day one week ago.

And Peter raised his head and looked at his lord, Jesus Christ, son of Jehovah, the messiah of the Jews, and agreed to take him to the body of their brother Lazarus, who lay upon a slab of stone in the center of the holy city of Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites.

When Jesus, son of Jehovah, messiah to the Jews, came upon the body of Lazarus, their brother, who had been slain at the hand of another man upon this day, one week ago, he put his hands upon the dead man and looked to the sky.

Then Jesus, son of Jehovah, messiah to the Jews, asked his father, the aforementioned Jehovah, for the power of life and spake to Lazarus, their brother, who had been slain at the hand of another man upon this day, one week ago, who lay upon a slab of stone in the center of the holy city of Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites.

He said the words, Suspendo Animato! Rise Lazarus, he who has been slain at the hands of another man upon this day one week ago, and who lies upon a slab of stone in the center of the holy city of Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites.

Suspendo Animato! Rise our brother!

And Lazarus, who had been slain at the hands of another man upon this day one week ago, and who lies upon a slab of stone in the center of the holy city of Jerusalem, in the land of the Israelites, did open his eyes and look upon Jesus, son of Jehovah, messiah to the Jews. And he did say to the son of Jehovah,

God damn, I was having one hell of a dream, Jesus. You were there, Peter was there, John was there, even that fucking cat who assaulted you during your sermon on the Mount. You were all there.

Jesus wept.